Muscle tension called. We ate it.
Pain’s Bane is a full-spectrum, sensory-forward balm built for sore shoulders, post-leg-day limps, and that mid-week back spasm that makes you question your birth. It melts in like Butter, kicks in like fire and ice, and disappears without a trace—except for the part where your body stops hating you.
What it does:
Soothes post-effort tension
Delivers warming/cooling sensory contrast
Conditions and softens skin
Leaves no greasy mess
How to use:
Swipe, massage & rub like you mean it. Reapply when the ache gets mouthy.
Great for necks, shoulders, knees, bows and anywhere that is hurtin’.
Not intended for use in conjunction with open wounds. Menthol on a fresh cut? Not recommended!
Generally avoid sensitive areas (again, there is menthol in this stuff).
INGREDIENTS THAT SOUND LIKE YOU’D FIND EM’ IN A FANCY GROCERY STORE:
Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil – Hydrates and helps the balm absorb quickly without any greasy residue. Slips in smooth like so your body can finally stop screaming at you.
Organic Jojoba Oil – Locks in moisture and keeps your skin balanced while the balm works its magic. Keeps your precious epidermis from staging an all out riot.
Organic Beeswax – Creates a breathable barrier that locks in hydration and helps your body feel better. The only non plant-based ingredient we use, and we sure the bees were treated better than most humans.
Organic Cocoa Butter – Soothes skin, leaving it soft and cared for. Softens like a velvet hammer and smashes tension into oblivion.
Menthol – Instant cooling sensation that targets pain and soothes discomfort. Making cold shoulders fashionable one body at a time.
Hemp Extract – Calms inflammation and promotes faster recovery. Turns chaos in your muscles into a full-on meditation retreat of relief.
Molecular Concentrate Blend – Formulated to provide maximum absorption. Us science nerds packed it with so much brainpower your skin can feel it working.
Why your skin will love it:
Warming and cooling botanicals that ease tension and soothe discomfort.
Deep hydration from rich plant oils — no greasy hangover.
Soothing extracts that calm inflammation while softening skin.
Zero petro-fillers or harsh synthetics — just full-spectrum, skin-safe relief.
OTHER THINGS TO KNOW:
Shelf life: 12 months-ish (but you'll use it way before then).
Made in small batches by people who give a damn.
Not tested on animals because we're not monsters.
Contains food safe ingredients (but don't really eat it, what's wrong with you?).